Based on the data of listed family firms in China from 2010 to 2019, this paper studies how family firms choose to treat stakeholders, and focuses on how selective participation in social responsibility of family firms will change under different institutional pressures. The results show that with the promotion of family control, family firms will choose to undertake more external community responsibilities and reduce internal employee responsibility investment. In addition, different institutional pressures have different restraining effects on family firms' social responsibility behaviors. Specifically, the improvement of marketization degree can not only weaken the negative impact of family control on employees' responsibility, but also strengthen its positive impact on community responsibility. Media supervision and Confucian culture are informal institutional pressures. The former mainly monitors the negative correlation between family control and employee responsibility through restraint, while the latter strengthens the positive correlation between family control and community responsibility through encouragement and edification.